Can I Come To You Heaven?

*Dark music playing in background* Heaven, are you close? I thought you were, I thought you were closer than usual, I had thoughts of you heaven, thoughts of a knife, thoughts of a better life, thoughts of *silence* …

Stop making me wanna come to you heaven, stop pretending, stop allowing me to hurt, oh the emptiness inside is exhausting, it drains me.

If only books could become my reality, if only anime could become what I lived…

I’m breaking down, but I can see you walking away, stop pretending it doesn’t hurt you, you know it hurts me too, you’re pretending it’s all fine like nothing ever happened. *Memories float inside my mind*

There’s flashbacks to when us friends were happy, when we all laughed and smiled, you still do but I don’t, not no more. *cries* I miss the happy ol days, but were any of those days even real? I hate to think that none of it was ever real, how could someone fake 5 years of friendship?

Was I born to lose? Was I born to never have happiness? Each time I gain some joy I seem to lose it almost immediately.

One day they’ll all forget me.

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